


Analogies

by nupoxsi



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Wives No Kids, Attempt at Humor, Dirty Jokes, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Inspired by Music, M/M, Making Out, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:24:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2646764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nupoxsi/pseuds/nupoxsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a day of successful music writing, Vegard has a little input to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Analogies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kriswu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kriswu/gifts).



> Hello! This is the result of two days without internet connection and being emotional over the new Intolerant video. This follows another canon, I guess? Because I know this isn’t the way Vegard and Bård work on their songs (at least not specifically), and this wasn’t the way the songs stated below were written, but I wanted to keep it simple. Kind of sucks tho omg I’m sorry. I apologise for all the typos and any kind of mistakes in the following work.
> 
> Written as a gift for [meine Norka](http://archiveofourown.org/users/huangzitao/pseuds/huangzitao), who deserves this fic and many more (that I actually owe her) for being forced into the Ylvis fandom. I wish I could say I am sorry but we both know that’s a lie. Tqm.
> 
> Disclaimer: nothing of the stated below has happened, it’s all work of fiction.

 

“Don't you think it’ll send the wrong message?” Vegard asks idly as he bites the end of a pen between his teeth. “It doesn’t really take a genius to put two and two together.”

Bård lifts his head from the lyrics sheets he has in front of him to look at his brother. The first thing Vegard notices when his eyes meet Bård’s blues is that his brother hasn’t got a clue of what he’s talking about, his mind probably being too busy rereading everything they’ve worked on that peculiar evening to make sure the result is clean. At the end of the day, they already have the lyrics and melodies of three songs and some drafts on how the music video for each is going to be.

“What are you talking about?” Bård asks with a furrowed brow, making some strands of golden hair fall on his forehead.

“You know, with the songs,” Vegard explains. He straightens himself in the chair and retrieves the pen from his mouth, using it to write a capital ‘Y’ and ‘I’ on a sheet of paper. Bård’s blue eyes widen and meeting his gaze Vegard clarifies, “ _Yoghurt_ and _Intolerant_.”

“I thought those letters stood for ‘you’ and ‘I’ and I freaked out for a second.”

“Come on, Bård, I’m serious. _The songs_.”

“Okay, you need to enlighten me in here, Vegard, because I am not following.”

He sighs as he shrugs. “I mean, yes, Yoghurt will be funny because it make people think you're talking about sex, but then with Intolerant…” Vegard looks at Bård struggling to keep a straight face. “Wouldn’t it be better if I took the lead, instead of you?”

“Why?” Bård asks, finally letting go a chuckle, crossing his arms on his chest. “What are you so worried for? That people will think I actually like sucking on a cock?”

“Well, don’t get me wrong. In theory, you _do_ like sucking on a cock,” Vegard says with a satisfied grin as he has a mental image of his brother’s pretty pink lips wrapped around his cock. Hell, that’s a sight he would never get tired of. He shakes his head a little to try to focus on his brother’s face now, lifting a finger to make emphasis on his words. “But that’s not the point. I don’t think it’s either wise or coherent to have the yoghurt guy being intolerant. Or vise versa.”

“Except I am not the yoghurt guy, Vegard.” With a grin still plastered on his face, Bård then stands from his chair and moves slowly to the other end of the desk, right where Vegard sits. “We are the fox guys, remember?” He says as he slightly pushes Vegard off the desk by the office chair. He’s forgotten how many times they’ve joked about being the fox guys before, especially when they’ve been to America. Vegard is still lost in a memory when Bård rolls him just so he can stand between him and the table, looking playful and gorgeous as fuck. “Plus, I don’t like sucking cocks, Vegard, I just like sucking _yours_ ,” he adds with a quirked brow and a mischievous smirk. 

Vegard feels his cheeks reddening at his brother’s words. What a fucking tease. As if to only accentuate what he’s just said, one of Bård’s long legs passes over Vegard’s thighs, and in the blink of an eye he is sitting on Vegard’s lap. He smiles back and responds to his brother’s words by reaching down to put his hands over his brother’s thighs, a similar smirk now playing on his lips too.

“All I’m saying is that if I took the lead vocals in Intolerant there would be no connection, and no one would suspects you’re into guys,” Vegard tries, rubbing his hands over Bård's thighs, loving the friction created by the brush of his fingertips against the jeans.

“I’m not into guys, I’m into _you_.”

Vegard chuckles. “Very well, then. There would be no connection that could lead people to think you’re into me.”

“Why would people think I’m into you?” Bård asks, hitting Vegard’s chest with his hand. “Ew, Vergard, that’s disgusting, we’re brothers.”

“ _You_ are disgusting,” he says and leans in to kiss Bård’s neck. What starts with a small peck on his pale skin ends up in Vegard sucking into his flesh until Bård is laughing again and pushing him back onto the chair. “See? Completely disgusting.”

“Seriously, though, stop with your idiotic paranoia, no one will be able to make a connection,” his brother says, rubbing his hands on Vegard’s shoulders. “And if they do, then I’m actually happy, because they’re gonna have a good laugh at it, not gonna think it’s something serious. We’re comedians, it’s supposed to be funny.”

“And it is funny, but…” Vegard bites his lips when Bård’s hand settle on the back of his neck. “What if it’s Calle who makes a connection and suddenly starts bombarding you with random questions? I mean, you _are_ lactose intolerant…”

“If that happens then I’d tell him to fuck off,” Bård confesses as he lets his head fall to the crook of Vegard's neck, his hair tickling as it brushes against his skin. “Plus, if he were ever to find out about us, which he isn’t, it wouldn’t be because of two funny songs we wrote for the show, Vegard. We are far more obvious than that.”

“What do you mean by that?” Vegard inquires with a bit of concern, which starts to fade away as Bård presses small kisses on the inside of his neck. His brother knows how to shush him with little actions.

“Nothing,” his offers, laughing. Vegard can feel the vibration of his voice against his vocal chords as Bård doesn’t break the contact, and it makes him move his hands from Bård’s thighs to his butt. He gives a firm squeeze that makes a little grunt escaped from his brother’s parted mouth. However, it’s soon replaced by a couple of chuckles. “Stop being so fucking paranoid. We are okay.”

Bård’s weight on his lap only makes Vegard harder, especially when his brother bucks his hips against him, silently asking for Vegard to do more. Which he does. As his hand still holds one of his buttcheeks, Vegard brings his other hand upwards, fingers slowly making their way under Bård’s shirt, skin against skin. Bård then lifts his head from Vegard’s neck, and they look into each other’s eyes for less than a second, because then Bård is leaning in and pressing their mouths together.

Judging by the way his brother moves, Vegard is certain that his fingers running up and down the line of his spine is giving Bård goosebumps, so he continues the motion as they deepen the kiss. His hips keep moving against Vegard, and he now can feel Bård is just as hard as he is under his jeans. There’s nothing he wishes more than get rid of their clothes and reach a hand down between them and—

Bård stops his movements and Vegard opens his eyelids to find him laughing, blue irises full of mischief.

“You're a fucking tease,” Vegard breathes as his brother’s lips leave his mouth, breaking the contact, only to settle back on his neck, teeth responding to his words by digging hard into his flesh.

“Hmm…” Bård simply mumbles against his now marked flesh. “I bet that me singing Yoghurt will only turn you on.”

“ _You_ always turn me on.”

“Yeah?” His brother inquires as he moves up to whispers into Vegard’s ear. “Will I turn you on when I tell you I want to eat some yogurt, a special kind of _turkish_ yoghurt?”

“Bård!” He exclaims with a giggle, throwing his head back. “That’s disgusting.”

“And, disgusting as it is, it turns you on,” he says proudly as he pulls away from Vegard’s neck only so they are able to stare at each other. Bård has got that mischievous expression on his face to which Vegard can hardly resist, and his features only seem to sharpen when his hand reaches down to cup the bulge in Vegard’s pants. “See? I’m not lying.”

“I hate you,” Vegard exclaims with a resigned sigh before leaning in and crashing their lips together once again. He doesn’t wait to get permission from Bård to deepen the kiss, simply does so as booth his hands move to get a tight grip on Bård’s waist.

“You love me,” Bård replies with a ragged breathing once they pull apart. The blue in his eyes are barely visible, pupils totally blown. “And I love you. Paranoid as you are.”

“I’m not paranoid!”

“Sure.”

“I still believe it’s a bit too obvious that—”

“No, no, no.” Bård brings his index finger to Vegard’s mouth, and only retrieves it when Vegard goes silent. “Just shut up and kiss me,” Bård says as he leans in again, and Vegard has no other option than to give in.

 


End file.
